Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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