i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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