Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
