i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
