cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
