Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
