you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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