I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
