Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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