This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
