just tell him i said nine months
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
