Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
