I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
