What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
