there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
