I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
