Acid is not a monday night drug
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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