i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
