I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
