Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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