pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
