ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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