I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
