this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
