I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
