I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
