Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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