Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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