New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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