how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
