Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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