Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
