i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the condom got lost in my hair
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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