just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
