i'm lost and i look like a hooker
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
this will be a night to untag.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
