lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
