didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
