Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it was like eating out sand paper
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
