sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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