You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
