I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
