so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
