what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
