hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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