he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've blown a few things in my day
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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