found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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