She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
