I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
