69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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