my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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